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  • Writer's pictureNicholas Fagen

Where Have I Been?

Updated: Nov 14, 2022

Hey guys!'s no secret that I've been on a bit of hiatus from blogging as of late. Where have I been instead? What have I been doing? Let's dive right in!

I'll be completely honest with you guys...that inside voice (the negative one that we all have and can't stand) has been quite prevalent in my life lately (in regards to writing, specifically). I will be going about my day sometimes randomly hear a screeching wickedly powerful cackle of a voice telling me things like "Nobody wants to read your writing" or "There's an infinite amount of writers out there who are all a million times more talented than you". On top of all of that nonsense, I have been generally busy.

Has there been time to write? Oh sure, absolutely.

However, writing is typically my outlet to escape from the issues I'm currently enduring in my life. Though, as of right now, the main issue has actually been writing itself. If that is removed from the general equation, life has actually been quite pleasant!

What have I been up to?

In the meantime, I've been sinking into many of my other passions, mainly music as of late! Why? Because I've been planning multiple events at once and preparing for them with assortments of playlists, various amazon purchases, and researching multitudes of festival details.

Last week, I had the privilege of seeing my favorite artist ILLENIUM in his biggest show of his career, known as his Trilogy show.

If you have 4 free hours and enjoy Electronic music of any kind, go ahead and give it a whirl and experience it for yourself here!

For those of you unfamiliar with ILLENIUM, the show was referred to as "Trilogy" because of his three albums (Ashes, Awake, and Ascend) having one final send off, before the release of his fourth album, Fallen Embers, later this week.

Here are some of the many photos from this amazing night:

As you can see from these pictures, it was quite a wild night. ILLENIUM played 4 full sets, a concert that went from 8 PM until 2 AM at Allegiant Stadium in Las Vegas. What's the coolest part about it all, though?

I ended up in the front row.

How amazing is that? A stadium that holds 65,000 fans and I miraculously ended up in the front row!

Granted, I did purchase VIP Silver tickets, but given that there was still VIP Gold and Pit tickets that were more expensive then what I had bought, I still couldn't begin to fathom having ended up on the railing. The entire night was spent dancing and headbanging, almost as if it was my full-time job. I found myself wandering into unknown territories where I had been so incredibly & blissfully lost in the music. Nothing else in the entire world mattered, just abundance and happiness in the moment.

Each song that was being performed, one after the other, I was blessed enough to have an intimate connection to a certain memory or feeling, almost as if I was reading a storybook of my life before my very eyes. Except that I didn't have to put in any effort!

On top of that, there were countless incredible DJs wandering about the crowd enjoying the show and saying hello to various fans.

I'm also pretty sure (side note) that I'll never listen to Seven Lions's song "Worlds Apart" the same ever again. And don't even get me started on when ILLENIUM surprisingly brought out Said the Sky to play "Where'd U Go"...needless to say I shed a tear or two.

I could talk about it all day, because I really do truly believe that it was a life changing experience. But I won't, for your sake! But what I will say is that for most of these people, this was their first concert post-COVID, including myself. It served as the greatest reminder of what we had taken for granted all those years prior.

Live music is finally back and I could not be more excited!

I've also been planning my next event, Lollapalooza 2021. I've never been to Lolla, and now that COVID restrictions are lightening and live music is returning, I'm determined to take every opportunity possible at an amazing life. Here are some of the artists I plan to see at Lollapalooza so far:


Jimmy Eat World

Cash Cash

All Time Low









...and who knows who else!

Needless to say, music has been at the heart of my activities lately...and why shouldn't it? After all, it makes me joyously happy and that's what life is all about, in the end.

So, I'm going to continue to try to pursue things that make me happy until this negative writing bug subsides. Certainly things like music, but also things like Star Wars, late night drives, reunions with friends, Marvel comics, dogs, delicious foods, Harry Potter, and pushing myself out of my comfort zone again and again.

Over the course of 2021, a main goal of mine has been to push myself out of my comfort zone. Why?

I have recognized that I've seemingly always relied on others to push me out of my comfort zone. While I love my friends for allowing me this opportunity whenever possible, this is something that I need to be able to do myself.

Over the years, I have always searched for romantic partners who will push me out of my comfort zone, because I've been flat-out too afraid to do it myself. Eventually, I realized that this just simply isn't fair to ask of a partner. Happiness is something that we need to find within ourselves! Plus, how cool would it be if I could do those things myself?

This has been my main purpose of 2021 and I've loved every minute of it. I've reconnected with several long lost friends and have also been privileged enough to create some amazing new ones along the way. I have purchased concert tickets with no travel plans or scheduled itinerary whatsoever. I have made friendly arrangements with complete & total strangers and learned their stories, backgrounds, and passions. I'm finally allowing myself to be myself in all circumstances. This is something I've wanted be able to do my entire life and I'm finally conquering it.

I'm slowly transitioning from the guy who fears confrontation to the guy who seeks out strangers and learns of their history, their endless dedications, their music preferences, whatever makes them tick.

So, yes, the writing has admittedly been lacking. No doubt about that. And any time that I have spent on writing has been devoted to editing my poetry book into a finalized form. But, have I still been busy? Heck yes.

Does this mean I'm going to stop writing? I think you know that answer...

In the end, I have to remind myself that I have an entire lifetime to write. But I also have an entire lifetime to enjoy life!

So, I hope you'll forgive me for the lack of writing...all seven of you still reading this. I promise, I'm not done, I'm just busy! I haven't forgotten. I'm just making myself a priority right now...after all, I don't think that's so bad, is it?

Thanks for sticking with me guys!

As always, I appreciate you!

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