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  • Writer's pictureNicholas Fagen


Updated: Jan 5, 2023

You are not your past.

I know, I know...we've all heard it a million times.

But how many actually believe it? 🤔

Indulge me for a quick second ⏰

Let's dive just a tad deeper...

To the shy soul secretly craving confidence...

Or the resilient rock pondering a threatening concept of vulnerability...

To the full-time audience who ironically feels unheard...

Or the forgotten companion stuck ruminating on a pristine past...

A new life is not as far-fetched as it may seem.


I've said it once and I'll say it again:

I'm no "zen guru."

Let me be blatantly clear really quick 👇🏼

I'm a 28-year-old guy who somehow still panics if eerily reminded of once slightly stumbling in the middle school lunch cafeteria eons ago.

From time to time, I'll even still pretend to be a jedi knight or wizard while walking through a pair of automatic sliding doors (sorry, not sorry) 😅

So please take everything I say with a generous grain of salt 🧂


I do treasure any opportunities to help someone move forward.

I live for the moments lost in an insightful flash of realization & epiphany.

It feels like sweet victory to play a helpful part in someone's story.

What do we live for other than human connection, am I right?

And with that said, I ask you to ask yourself the following questions:

What kind of person have I been? 💭

What type of person do I present to the world? 🌎

And on top of that...

What am I really like inside? 👀

Is there a part of myself that I hide from others? 💭

For me, that answer was easily always transparent vulnerability (as it is for countless others).

But really, who would voluntarily leave their thoughts and dreams "on the table" susceptible to any & all critiques from a society often so focused on one-upping everybody else?

This is why my younger self focused so heavily on listening, rather than speaking.

Stuck in a planet of endless comparison, I don't know about you but...

I never noticed any county fairs or major festivals with a flourishing booth labeled "Spill your Greatest Secrets" or "Tell me What's Been Troubling You."

I fear those may have been awfully poor business decisions.

So, I followed in the footsteps of many before me and hid away many of my favorite parts of myself.

I became a full-time listener who wholeheartedly adored aiding others in various troubles but simultaneously wouldn't dream of burdening loved ones with my own insecurities (by the way, there were plenty!)

The thing about leading that life, though, is that over time...

You begin to lose your sense of self.


Today I don't intend on discussing me.

Instead, I'd like to discuss the one-day-at-a-time mentality 📈

The distinctly satisfying art of continuous improvement 🗓️

The 1% per sunrise improvement that allows you to reinvent yourself in 3 months' time ☀️

I merely addressed my personal issue since it is one so commonly dealt with among present-day society.

However, let's redirect this conversation in a modified direction 👇🏼

If you could change one aspect of yourself, what would it be?

Personally, I spent numerous years living in:






When I was wishing for a life instead filled with:






I could go on for days.

I cared what everyone thought.

I lived in all space & time except the present moment.

My creativity was used for nothing more than drafting the scariest scenarios imaginable that my scatterbrained mindset could conjure up (at all hours of the day).

What energy did I leave for myself? 🧠

What chance did I have? 💭

That's why I began this particular post with such personal questions for you (the reader) to answer 👇🏼

What kind of person have I been? 💭

What type of person do I present to the world? 🌎

And on top of that...

What am I really like inside? 👀

Is there a part of myself that I hide from others? 💭

The problem with limiting yourself is not often recognized in the now, but rather the automatic unconscious thoughts that follow you like gloomy shadows (into an otherwise promising future) 👇🏼

"I'll never get a new job."

"I'm really not that smart."

"I'll never make a difference."

"Who'd want to be friends with me?"

"I honestly can't change, even if I wanted to."

Before you know it, you're:



Driving aggressively

Talking too much about the past

Gossiping and/or spreading rumors

These are not ways to live your life.

I think we can agree that's actually not living at all.

That is merely existing stagnant in a state of lack.

With that, let's discuss the future ✨

How do you want to feel?

How would you choose to act?

How would you prefer to think?

What is the greatest ideal version of yourself?

Think about it for a second.

Researchers from Cornell University asked thousands of people on their deathbed to name their biggest regret in their entire life and 76% of them shared the same tragic answer:

"Not fulfilling my ideal self."

This means that (on average) 8 of 10 people live their lives according to their surroundings.

These are human beings just like you, me, your brother, my cousin, your father, my grandmother, etc. that merely existed according to the terms that their environment allowed them to.

To put in other terms:

These human beings handed the keys to their happiness to each & every person around them except themselves.

It isn't until it was legitimately too late that they recognized their overly-flawed mistake(s).

And with that, I amend my original question:

If you left the world tomorrow, would you be satisfied with how you lived your life today?

Did you carve out time for beloved creative pursuits?

Did you embark on every adventure you wished for?

Did you conquer each physical goal you hoped for?

Did you embrace uncertainty?

Did you prioritize love?

Look, I realize that these questions are out-of-this-world cliché.

However, isn't the literal purpose of life to live?

I'd say that the concept of life is a tad cliché in itself, wouldn't you?

How can you truthfully live without diving into the hopes and dreams of your ideal self?

I'm not sure that you can.

But 1% per day can get you there in seemingly no time 😌

And now...let's share your homework assignment 👀

Think about what is most important to you.

What are 3 things that you can do this week to begin pursuing a possible financial, spiritual, relationship, etc. goal that your ideal self has already accomplished?

What's truly stopping you? 🤔

Here are a few quotes from "The Bucket List Journal" by Ben Nemtin that may help you during your upcoming assignment...

Bravery is the solution to regret.
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
Never be limited by other people's limited imaginations.
One day you will wake up and there won't be any more time to do the things you've always wanted. Do it now.
If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes.

We're all human, my friends.

At the end of a long day, it's perfectly normal and A-okay to be upset or distraught.

Though a lifetime of this mindset is no life at all.

Let's stop existing and start living.

Here's to 2023 🥂

Thanks for following along 🥰


My goal for 2023? 👇🏼

Much more to come so very soon 😎

In the meantime, check out my daily posts here:

As always, THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING to each and every one of my beloved readers!

Let's talk soon 😌

❤️ 🧡 💙 💚 💜

❤️ 🧡 💙 💚 💜


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